#28. you know it was a good party when

you open your purse the next day (at work) to figure out why the heck it's so heavy and you find this:

yeah, that's my office chair.

(I brought the beer for a friend's dinner party & rather than bring a whole box home with only 3 bottles rolling around in the bottom, I thought I'd be really smart and just throw them into my purse. turns out there were 4 bottles left . . . yeah, really smart)

#27. "pretty nice little saturday . . . "

(note: this was supposed to post yesterday. not sure what happened there . . .)

ok, ok, it was actually sunday. and we went to Lowe's not Home Depot. but still, it works people, it works . . . . (plus, we did have enough time to go to Bed Bath & Beyond)

anyway, I needed to repot some plants and Rock wanted to look at lumber (again) for his (interminable) entertainment center project. (no really, he's been talking about this for almost a year. we've made 4 of these "wood scouting trips" and I don't even know how many he's made on his own. -- I swear he spends his lunch breaks at Home Depot. he has the store memorized)

anyway, Lowe's. garden center. browsing through the azaleas and the gerbera daisies and all the other gorgeous blooms I didn't even know you could grow at home! (stupid short mountain growing seasons) and there they are:

boots! and not just boots, BOOT PLANTERS! you're supposed to put your pansies in there and put it in your yard! in your yard! and to think of the time I wasted making fun of the little "southwest" pots with a cactus on them . . . I was going to try to put my foot in it, but Rock stopped me. I think he was embarrassed . . .

we didn't buy any boot planters. but I did get a cute little tomato plant and Rock picked out a pepper plant. we bought pots and soil and pavers for the backyard (but no wood. again.) and I even got everything repotted before the crazy rain storm!

I also realized that I have no clue how to grow tomatoes or peppers. and I'm historically pretty bad at keeping things alive . . . this could be fun . . . anyone know how to not kill food plants?

#26. refreshing taste of lemon & lime

remember when mom came to visit? and we tested out some different centerpiece ideas? I finally have pictures!

we're looking at green and yellow (and maybe sapphire blue) for colors and thought what's green and yellow? fruit! specifically, lemons and limes. so, momma and I bought a bunch of lemons and limes and spent half a day cramming them into vases in various order.

like so . . .

not bad but not exactly what I was looking for . . .

we also cut slices to put into a vase with a narrower opening:

a little gross, you say? yeah, but look at it a few hours later . . .

mmmmm . . . or not. I think this one is a NO

after a while, we came up with what I think is a winner:

(mmmm . . . background liquor cabinet . . . which I totally needed after 4+ hours of fruit arranging )

it would look better if the glass didn't have that strange wheat pattern, but, it's a pretty clear idea of what we're going for. maybe this on half, floral on half? maybe some of both? not completely sure yet, but I feel like some sort of progress has been made. and that's enough for me. (for now . . .)

what do you think?

#25. rocky mountain romance

ooh! Snippet & Ink posted a wyoming inspiration board! she calls it "rocky mountain romance" and says:

A rustic, quaint log chapel, a bride in cowboy boots, horseshoes, s'mores, and a
mechanical bull - all perfect elements for a wedding in Wyoming.

it is pretty. I'm pretty sure that if momma was running my wedding, it would look like this . . .

#24. things I learned last week:

the training I went through last week was a lot about self-discovery. yes yes, and how to use the MBTI to help others with that whole self-discovery thing, but I really learned a lot about myself. here's what I've got:

1. I actually am an extrovert. I've been off and on about this for years but I've completely proven it now. I love to talk to people, meet people, work with people, do things . . . and I always have, but I used to be shy. painfully shy. really. like, wouldn't speak up in an empty room because I might disagree with myself shy. (that's because of the F part of me, if you're familiar with Myers-Briggs. I'm an ENFP. and I love it.) but dang, you tell me my job is to talk to people and I am off running and loving every minute of it!

2. I HATE traffic. there is not enough money in the world to make me work downtown and have to drive in every day. I am totally open to moving closer -- even into a downtown loft (I mean, if you're paying me, why not) -- but I cannot will not drive through that crap every single day. somewhat related is point 3:

3. I am terrible at directions. and the gps doesn't help (in fact, I'm convinced she's really out to get me. maybe she's jealous. story for another time). Rock kindly lent me Suzie, his garmin gps, so I wouldn't get lost. I also looked up and printed both mapquest and google directions. all this led me to call Rock from somewhere outside love field (north of dallas) totally totally lost. (have I mentioned that I live south of dallas? way south? and west? like, into tarrant county west?) this just made the driving part longer (and added more yelling)

4. parking garages scare the living crap out of me! for real. they're so big and strangely lit and echo-y it just creeps me out. actually, I already knew this. what I learned: an all-underground one? worse. way worse. if some creepo jumps out from behind a parked car to attack you, at least you can't be thrown off the edge, but there will be no one to hear you scream! they made a movie about this very thing (P2. interested? review here) and I refused to see it! (well, more because it looked really terrible, but still, it's the principle of the thing) scary!

so yeah, that's what I learned at my MBTI training. and all sorts of helpful stuff about team-building and leadership training and career coaching . . . but how often will I use that? really?

#23. alphabet soup

I've been MIA lately because I'm completing a CAPT training to become certified in the MBTI in order to determine if someone is an ESTJ or an ISTP (or some other combination of letters).

after 45 minutes to get there, 8 full hours of training (including daily exams) and then at least an hour to get home, I am so completely drained . . . plus an additional 90 minutes of reading & "homework" to do each night = mush for brains . . . and this was only day 2 of 4 . . .

I'll try to think of something really good to post for this weekend . . . . . right now I am going to go eat the spaghetti Rock made for me. and go to bed. after the homework of course . . .

#22. at least he's honest

victoria's secret has new perfumes! I know this isn't really news since they seem to come up with something new every other week. and then send me a catalogue telling me about it and making me want to buy some new bras or shoes or yoga pants. (Rock also seems to really like when I get a new vicky's catalogue . . .)

anyway, new perfumes . . . sorry, new parfums intimes named for lingerie fabrics: satin, silk, lace, cashmere. and I got free samples! (finally! the angels vip card actually gets you something other than an outrageous interest rate!) look!

so of course the minute I get home I need to test all of them to see if I will like them or not. after spritzing all of them a little, I commit to try "Satin" (Rose de Mai) (um, what?) first. I spray it on and go find Rock to see what he thinks. I no sooner walk in the kitchen and he says "what's that smell? does something smell weird? . . . oh, it's you, isn't it?"

sooo, satin is apparently out. thanks babe.

#21. maybe I AM awesome!

I got in! aaahhhh!

on a related note, I think I have just figured out what is wrong with our educational system . . . in spite of my inability to form a complete sentence and my incoherent ramblings saved forever on voicemail (read all the embarrassment here), they accepted me into graduate school! suckers!

bobcats here I come!

(that is, assuming I can afford you . . . . . *sigh*)

#20. location showdown, part 2

after much debate (no really. we went rounds and rounds about this. I have the "master matrix of decision making" to prove it), we picked a location! and confirmed a date! and got a caterer! woo! I feel like I've accomplished so much!

ok, so, we're gonna do this thing May 29 at a hill country bed & breakfast . . . not my original date choice, honestly -- the venue GAVE AWAY our original date & didn't feel like they needed to tell me until a week later when I called them . . . (can you tell I'm still a little steamed) but, really, this will be a much better date. Rock's granny & gpaw got married on May 29 years and years ago. I didn't know this until Granny got misty when we told her the date we picked . . . Gpaw passed last year, so it will really mean a lot to her.

anyway, enough talky-talky . . . pictures of the b&b:

It looks like Tara . . .

(the gazebo isn't actually tilt-y, just Rock's photo skillz)

something terribly facinating in the fountain . . .

and, my favorite . . . at night . . .

I am so super duper excited about this place! and it's a b&b so we're staying there the night before and the night after! (the pics of the inside turned out strange . . . probly ghosts. no really, it totally looks like ghosts. and while we were there, a really heavy vase just fell over in a totally empty room. ghosts. I'm excited!)

also, they have a chef, so that's a check too! we're having steak fajitas & lime-cilantro chicken quesadillas and other deliciousness . . . mmmmm . . . .

in a strangely-related conicidence, it turns out their sous-chef worked in and around yellowstone (where Rock & I met!) . . . .

have I mentioned I'm excited?!

#19. the "w" word . . .

I’ve been reading the wedding blogs again . . . and the magazines. and the books, websites, catalogues – anything with the word “wedding” will draw me in! even though I know better . . . it's makes me crazy. they’re all the same, even if they think they’re not. oh, I know your wedding is not a contest and that we should liberate ourselves from expectations and that the “evil” wedding industry sometimes makes no sense and that your wedding should be just that, yours, and a way to honor people/ideas/things that are important to you. and all of these brides are so great at doing that . . .

but what if I want a “wedding” (air quotes and all)? what if I want a white dress and a pretty cake (or cupcakes, whatever) and a dance with my daddy and a veil and flowers and candles and rice? maybe I don’t want it all (the bouquet/garter toss? not a big priority. the bridal portrait or engagement pictures? I don’t know what we’d do with them.) but there are things I do want. there are things momma and my dad and Rock’s granny hope to have and see and do. and the happiness of my family is unbelievably important.

I don’t want to spend a lot of money. I fell in love with a gorgeous, reasonably priced location. for an extra price, they offer rental all day & the night before (& a pool!). adding that option makes it out of my reach. but momma wants to spend the extra money for us to have more time to relax. at that price, my total budget will go way up, but she wants it. she wants to buy it for me. and I will not refuse a kind gift from my mother just for the sake of my ego or (worse) so I can show the internets that I too am practical and offbeat and able to stick to a budget.

If it’s not martha or the knot demanding I investigate teeth whitening for my big day, it’s someone else telling me that wanting to wear Vera Wang makes me ridiculous.

I guess either way I’m out the group . . .

UPDATE: I just read Maggie's post for today and feel so much better. Please go see her here.

#18. absent

I haven’t written much lately . . . and it’s not for lack of things to say, I actually have some exciting stuff to talk about (we picked a place! practice centerpiece pictures!) but I just haven’t been feeling it . . .

I’ve felt restless, disorganized, melancholy, stressed . . . and I’m not exactly sure why. I just feel so dissatisfied . . .

not because of Rock, god no, though we have been bickering. he’s the best thing that ever happened to me and without him I would be completely adrift.

not because of mom, though I certainly have reason! (also, drama with momma & the location. details to follow . . . )

not because of work or grad school or money or wedding planning or our lemon of a house . . . even though all those things stress me out mightily, it seems to run so much deeper than that . . .

and yesterday, on the way home from work, a familiar but long-lost song came on my ipod and I couldn’t help but sing. loudly. and right there I figured it all out . . . I couldn’t remember the last time I opened my mouth to sing out loud. at all, much less in praise of Him. and I just started bawling right there in the car just off of highway 20. I don’t remember the last time I did something creative. I can’t remember the last time I touched my sewing machine, pulled a charcoal across a page, mixed up watercolors – even picked up a crayon! and my heart is so heavy with that realization. I feared that moving to texas would cause me to lose some of who I was, but truthfully, it started long before I packed the first box.

this weekend. I’m making a dress. I have to make a change.