#50. I love mini food

I love cupcakes. they're like a mini cake. any food in miniature is somehow tastier but especially dessert-type food.

Rock & I are still in negotiations about the dessert section of our wedding. he's not a big sweets fan but does love brownies, pie and the occasional chocolate chip cookie. I, on the other hand, have an unquenchable sweet tooth and will eat nearly any dessert except for white (wedding) cake. we've tossed around some ideas . . . a non-traditional-weddingy cake, cupcakes, cheesecakes, pie, cookies, donuts (which Rock's brother & Sparkles just did, so that'll be a "no") . . . but we still haven't really come to any conclusions.

but I just found these!:

they're mini pies!! baked in little jars!

visit Not Martha for a great tutorial and lots of pictures. the best part? because they're in jars, they're freezable. I could make them ahead of time and then just freeze them until we need them!

wait, am I actually thinking about making my own wedding food? am I crazy? . . . . . .

#48. faux vintage

in the last post, I was wondering how to find cheap vintage blue ball mason jars. I did a little research and found that they sell in shops & on ebay for, like, $10. each! I was ready to abandon the idea. then, I found this: make vintage mason jars. A.Mountain.Bride found a tutorial at Bridal Buzz and re-posted the steps and images.

kristin at Bridal Buzz used turquoise glass paint to simply paint the jars the vintage color. so brilliantly obvious that I never would have thought of it! I will refrain from re-posting the whole thing here, but look at the finished product:
it looks exactly like Non-Texan Momma's jar! maybe prettier . . . (don't tell Momma)


I bought the glass paint and thinner online from dick blick. I'll let you know how it turns out!

#45. last time, on survivor

you know how at the beginning of the show, they tell you what you missed last week? well, here's what you missed: 3 people from my department quit (out of 12 total, all from my specific office), work drama, non-texan sister didn't take well to an experimental hospital procedure, I totally forgot I had a blog, I didn't get funding for grad school, our landlady disappeared (no really, like, gone. still gone, actually), then I DID get funding, I remembered I had a blog but didn't have anything to say, sister got better, I quit, more work drama, I moved and started school, Rock moved somewhere else (sad), and I got better about blogging again. (that last part might be still to come, but I totally believe it!)

did you follow all that? no prob, not important. what is important it that I AM BACK! and I have Save The Dates!

I'm not sure how I got there, but I was wedding surfing and came upon Merriment Design. totally cute, clever, crafty, FREE ideas for all kinds of things! anyway, I found this adorable FREE save the date template based off of a sketch of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. it's perfect for our wedding under the trees! (and did I mention it's FREE?!)

so, I downloaded it, added our info, added some color and drew in a little sunflower at the bottom! what do you think?

(sorry for the blurry, my photoshop's not working so it's via powerpoint. I'll get a better pic up asap.)
(click to enbiggen and to see with less blurry!)

go to Merriment Design and check out all the fun crafty ideas they have!

#40. the birdcage

once wed just posted "how-tos" for this great birdcage veil! I love it! now, where around here would I find a store to sell me these supplies? joanns just won't cut it for this project . . .

#39. t-minus one year. and counting!

over the weekend, Rock & I celebrated our negativersary . . . is that a word? can I make it one? . . . anyway, this past friday marked one year from our impending wedding. so, to celebrate, we went on a "date" like the kiddies do.

we got dressed up and went to the mall.

yeah, it was awesome.

oh, but not just any mall, the Dallas Galleria Shopping Centre Extravaganza. it was still pretty awesome, actually. we told the girl at Lush that it was our -1 year anniversary and she gave me a mini soft hand treatment. (she probably does for all the girls, but I like to think it's because I'm special.) then we went to Antonio in Addison for Italian food, which was awesome.
we, being excellent planners, didn't take any pictures or anything so I will have to substitute with a photo from easter this year.

so, here's what I wore (minus the "model face" look. and minus the 1980's decor at Rock's grandmother's house):

(my legs look furry in this shot. it's the camera, I promise)

aaand, front shot (minus "modesty tank top" required for grandmother/church visit.):

(the girl at Betsey Johnson loved my dress. yeah, that's right)

the craziest part of all of it was thinking about how long and how short the coming year seems. we've been together for 3 years, lived in the same place for less than 2, and will be married in less than 1.

I can't wait

#34. I prefer the term "empathetic"

I've been getting weepy a lot lately. we're still over a year out from W-Day but it's starting to be a very real thing. and EVERY TIME there is something wedding-y on tv, I am sniffling. really. we moved the kleenex from the bathroom into the living room because Rock got tired of me wiping my face on his t shirt. I mean, I was tearing up at Whose Wedding is it Anyway last night . . . who does that? (side note: it was the "chicken fried wedding" one. it was in dallas. I turn to Rock and say "I've been there!" I though it was funny. him, not so much)

I've been mentally projecting myself a year into the future and thinking about what we might be doing a year from today (or yesterday or tomorrow) . . . with a wedding 2 weeks away, I'll probably freaking the heck out, but it's fun to imagine that I'll be all calm and cool about everything. I'm reading blogs from ladies who are there, on the brink, and I am so very impressed! (Maggie, talking to you here!) I'm pretty sure I'll be a hot mess. (see how I'm pickin up on the texas slang? I'm hip with the kids, yo) I think I'm weepy now? man . . . I can only imagine . . .

I have always been kind of, um, emotional (my fam would say "dramatic") . . . and I hope to heck I can manage to not become a total weepy mess, but I really doubt it. maybe it'll be endearing, right?

#33. first of all, it's a big responsibility

it's been another busy day at work today . . . or not so much . . . so, in order to do something productive, I made this (at wordle.com):

it's from a poem by Taylor Mali (check out the hair!) called Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog. Mr Mali is a teacher, or was a teacher, and a poet. he has an impressive resume & has written some great poems about education & his experiences as a teacher (one of my favorites is Like Lilly Like Wilson).

Falling in Love . . . makes me think of Rock (and of his our sissy dog, Conan (yes, like The Barbarian)) and I'd love to use it as a reading in our ceremony. I know this poem was a "wedding fad" at one time, but I've never heard it read at a wedding, so I can still use it.

from Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog, by Taylor Mali

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

(read the full text of the poem at his website. here.)

#30. I always loved Nancy Drew

I finalized arrangements today to make a trip to visit Momma. aside from taking off work, seeing my family and escaping this dismal weather, I’m also excited because this trip will be the first dress fitting! wait, what’s that you say? what’s the deal with having a fitting a year out from the wedding? and where the heck did this dress come from, anyway . . . I don’t remember her going shopping or anything . . . to you who are suddenly thinking I’m crazy, I say, you’re absolutely right. I probably am crazy.

you’re also right about the Mystery of the Suddenly Appearing Wedding Gown, Nancy Drew, I haven’t talked about going shopping. no, you didn’t miss it. well, actually, you did. it was almost 4 years ago. and yes, I probably am crazy, but not in the way you’re thinking.

see, this dress, that I have a picture of somewhere . . . I’ll rustle it up for you . . . (ooh, how texan of me: rustle up) this dress, I love. with every fiber, I love it – its smooth simplicity, the weight of the gown on my body, how glamorous I feel wearing it . . . I love this dress. I vaguely mentioned earlier that I have worked in a bridal store; that is where this dress was purchased. I however, did not mention earlier that I have been engaged before. true story. this is not my first venture into this whole wedding planning stuff. I’ve done a lot of this stuff before.

his name is boy wonder and he was my very best friend for a long time. there is too much to say about what happened, what went wrong, so I won’t say it. I will say that when the relationship started to sour, he proposed. and I stupidly accepted, thinking it could fix things. it didn’t. at the end, it became so clear that he was very much a boy, not ready to be grown, and I had already moved so far past him that there was no catching up. and at the very very end, I realized that I had known this all along.

the hardest part of the whole thing is that in every decision I make, there is the ghost of the “last time” lurking in the shadows. I want to have cupcakes, but that’s what I wanted “last time” too . . . and thinking of them makes me think of boy wonder and how we loved “frost your own cupcake day” in the cafeteria. I want to walk down the aisle to Hallelujah (probably Jeff Buckley rather than Rufus Wainright) but I know I fell in love with the harmonies when boy wonder played it on the piano. and this brings me to the dress and the insanely early fittings . . .

when Rock & I get married, I will be wearing the dress I purchased to wear to marry another man. Momma has let me know this is weird. but I love this dress. I fell in love with it on my third day of work. I love this dress. Rock has let me know that he understands. (and that he doesn’t think it’s weird) I love Rock. but I do want to make some changes to the dress to make it truly mine and truly a part of our wedding.

enter Momma’s best friend, an amazingly talented seamstress and fabric artist. (seriously. she MADE her daughter-in-law’s wedding gown. from scratch, by hand, no pattern, in raw italian silk. that she went to italy to buy. She also embroidered a few exquisite fall leaves on the train and on the veil. she’s uh-MAZ-ing.) My design plus her skills will (hopefully) equal one super awesome dress! Momma’s friend is a professor she has an open expanse of time during the summer for personal projects. And I’m her personal project this summer! After the fitting/brainstorm design session I will bring you actual pictures & details & everything. I hope I can bring myself to cut into it . . .

#29. my afternoon

guess what I made today?!



it's not 100% perfect but I really like it! and it only took me about half the work day. (in between other things of course) my boss would be so proud . . .

hey, some days I actually do work. today? not so much.

#26. refreshing taste of lemon & lime

remember when mom came to visit? and we tested out some different centerpiece ideas? I finally have pictures!

we're looking at green and yellow (and maybe sapphire blue) for colors and thought what's green and yellow? fruit! specifically, lemons and limes. so, momma and I bought a bunch of lemons and limes and spent half a day cramming them into vases in various order.

like so . . .

not bad but not exactly what I was looking for . . .

we also cut slices to put into a vase with a narrower opening:

a little gross, you say? yeah, but look at it a few hours later . . .

mmmmm . . . or not. I think this one is a NO

after a while, we came up with what I think is a winner:

(mmmm . . . background liquor cabinet . . . which I totally needed after 4+ hours of fruit arranging )

it would look better if the glass didn't have that strange wheat pattern, but, it's a pretty clear idea of what we're going for. maybe this on half, floral on half? maybe some of both? not completely sure yet, but I feel like some sort of progress has been made. and that's enough for me. (for now . . .)

what do you think?

#25. rocky mountain romance

ooh! Snippet & Ink posted a wyoming inspiration board! she calls it "rocky mountain romance" and says:

A rustic, quaint log chapel, a bride in cowboy boots, horseshoes, s'mores, and a
mechanical bull - all perfect elements for a wedding in Wyoming.

it is pretty. I'm pretty sure that if momma was running my wedding, it would look like this . . .

#20. location showdown, part 2

after much debate (no really. we went rounds and rounds about this. I have the "master matrix of decision making" to prove it), we picked a location! and confirmed a date! and got a caterer! woo! I feel like I've accomplished so much!

ok, so, we're gonna do this thing May 29 at a hill country bed & breakfast . . . not my original date choice, honestly -- the venue GAVE AWAY our original date & didn't feel like they needed to tell me until a week later when I called them . . . (can you tell I'm still a little steamed) but, really, this will be a much better date. Rock's granny & gpaw got married on May 29 years and years ago. I didn't know this until Granny got misty when we told her the date we picked . . . Gpaw passed last year, so it will really mean a lot to her.

anyway, enough talky-talky . . . pictures of the b&b:

It looks like Tara . . .

(the gazebo isn't actually tilt-y, just Rock's photo skillz)

something terribly facinating in the fountain . . .

and, my favorite . . . at night . . .

I am so super duper excited about this place! and it's a b&b so we're staying there the night before and the night after! (the pics of the inside turned out strange . . . probly ghosts. no really, it totally looks like ghosts. and while we were there, a really heavy vase just fell over in a totally empty room. ghosts. I'm excited!)

also, they have a chef, so that's a check too! we're having steak fajitas & lime-cilantro chicken quesadillas and other deliciousness . . . mmmmm . . . .

in a strangely-related conicidence, it turns out their sous-chef worked in and around yellowstone (where Rock & I met!) . . . .

have I mentioned I'm excited?!

#19. the "w" word . . .

I’ve been reading the wedding blogs again . . . and the magazines. and the books, websites, catalogues – anything with the word “wedding” will draw me in! even though I know better . . . it's makes me crazy. they’re all the same, even if they think they’re not. oh, I know your wedding is not a contest and that we should liberate ourselves from expectations and that the “evil” wedding industry sometimes makes no sense and that your wedding should be just that, yours, and a way to honor people/ideas/things that are important to you. and all of these brides are so great at doing that . . .

but what if I want a “wedding” (air quotes and all)? what if I want a white dress and a pretty cake (or cupcakes, whatever) and a dance with my daddy and a veil and flowers and candles and rice? maybe I don’t want it all (the bouquet/garter toss? not a big priority. the bridal portrait or engagement pictures? I don’t know what we’d do with them.) but there are things I do want. there are things momma and my dad and Rock’s granny hope to have and see and do. and the happiness of my family is unbelievably important.

I don’t want to spend a lot of money. I fell in love with a gorgeous, reasonably priced location. for an extra price, they offer rental all day & the night before (& a pool!). adding that option makes it out of my reach. but momma wants to spend the extra money for us to have more time to relax. at that price, my total budget will go way up, but she wants it. she wants to buy it for me. and I will not refuse a kind gift from my mother just for the sake of my ego or (worse) so I can show the internets that I too am practical and offbeat and able to stick to a budget.

If it’s not martha or the knot demanding I investigate teeth whitening for my big day, it’s someone else telling me that wanting to wear Vera Wang makes me ridiculous.

I guess either way I’m out the group . . .

UPDATE: I just read Maggie's post for today and feel so much better. Please go see her here.

#16. rocky mountain high

if we had decided to have a mountain wedding, this would be my ideal backdrop . . .
but we decided on texas. and I'm ok with that. I'm very ok with that. until I saw this gorgeous wedding on a.mountain.bride's blog the other day . . .

courtesy of the very talented Julie Harris Photography, Jen & Matt's colorado wedding:

makes me homesick! that aspen grove makes my heart sing . . .

a texas wedding will be best. and it'll be dramatic too. but nothing can compare with that mountain vista . . .

#14. location showdown, round one

I am from the mountains. Rock is from texas.
we met in the mountains. we live in texas.
we someday want to live in the mountains. we currently live in texas.
we love the mountains. we don't love texas. (ok, that's mostly me)

so where oh where would we think to get married? no, not the mountains . . .

our dream wedding** would be outdoors, in a forest or even a meadow with a majestic rocky mountain backdrop. wildflowers, Mexican food, a cold mountain lake, snow-capped peaks . . . *sigh* perfection . . . seems like a no-brainer, right? oh no . . . this has been perhaps the biggest source of anguish since our engagement. (which is saying a lot considering we got engaged at the height of the crazy-family-explosion-of-drama that is the holidays) (no really, my family is nuts)

so, it might come as a surprise to you that, in the end, the big supporter on the "wedding in texas" side was me. (surprised me!) really, hosting the wedding where we really live will be much easier for us in the long run. it'll be a chance for both our families to take a mini vacation. we can still find somewhere gorgeous and outdoorsy to have it, mountains or not. (they still have trees and grass and flowers in texas. imagine that)

texas is fine, but it sure isn't the same . . .



**ok, my dream wedding. one of them, at least . . . (there may or may not be a dozen more possible scenarios. I did work in a bridal store.) (funny, none of those ever included texas . . . hmm)

#12. mother knows best

remember how I didn't have any plans for non-texan mom's visit? (except for these. which were SO tasty, by the way!) well, as it turns out, momma had plenty of plans, all involving wedding things . . . unbeknownst to me, momma has stored any snippet of wedding related opinion I might ever have expressed, no matter how casually I might have mentioned it. therefore, she was just full of questions about so many things. things I didn't even know I should have been thinking about . . .

I love my momma, but she can be a little intense . . . a few direct transcripts of our conversations:

momma: you're doing cupcakes instead of a cake right?
me: umm, well, I did kinda think cupcakes might be kinda cool . . . Rock & I haven't really
talked about it . . .
momma: ok, so how are you displaying them? did you want step-daddy to build a
display? were you still planning on having the aunts make them all? I bought this
magazine that has instructions on making little gumdrop flowers to decorate them . . .
me: ummm . . . wait, what?

momma: I was thinking we'd buy a bunch of lemons and limes today to try out your
centerpiece ideas
me: ideas?
momma: right, the different vases with lemons and limes and different flowers like you
talked about before. you have vases right? let's go buy some!
me: . . . I might have a couple . . . wait, I don't want you to spend a ton of money on this
stuff. especially not on practice vases.
momma: you've always wanted lemons and limes in vases though. we have to practice.
I'm sure you'll find something to do with them after we're done.
me: wait, what?

momma: did you find any place to buy that pink sparkle crystal tiara you're going to wear?
me: uh . . . I'm sorry? tiara?
momma: like you've always wanted . . .
me: did I actually ever say anything about a pink sparkly tiara?
momma: you did. may 1991. don't you remember?
me: when I was 8? really? really?

#9. I do have really cute shoes

{postsecret.com}

my irrational fears:
- using the "accessible" stall in a public bathroom and exiting to a massive beatdown from a woman in a wheelchair who had to wait
- birds
- needles
- not fitting into my wedding dress

no, really. I dreamt last night that my mom washed it for me the day before the wedding and the whole thing shrunk to child size, like a really nice sweater in a cheesy sitcom . . .

this whole thing is irrational because I: a) have over a year until I'll need to wear it so there's a lot of time there for me to figure something out and b) know some really good seamstresses (umm . . . me) in a "worst-case-scenario"

(that and c) my mom hasn't done my laundry since the 6th grade. I know there is nooo way she'd start back up now)

but still . . . the fears swell up time and time again . . .

I just didn't figure the wedding nightmares would start up so soon . . .

#4. where have you been all my life

so, I have seen the name "princess lasertron" {www.princesslasertron.com} pop up on various blogs here and there and I have thought to myself: self, maybe you should go see who this princess whatshername is & what she's all about . . . Self has usually responded by promptly forgetting what was going on & then thinking about cupcakes. this happens all the time . . .

but today I was extra-bored at work (for some reason) and somehow found an old post that linked to her uh-MAY-zing blog/shop/website/land of awesomeness {www,princesslasertron.com}. megan/princess lasertron makes absolutely beautiful felt and button flowers, bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, pins and other gorgeousness!

how have I never seen this stuff before?! she is talented, gorgeous, fabulous, AND, she's from Omaha! I went to college right next door in Lincoln. (to add to the awesomeness, I almost went to the same college she did! it's like I very nearly kind of almost know someone famous!)

please look at her amazingness:
(all from and so much more at www.princesslasertron.com)

they're all hand-stitched, custom-color, totally unique designs

with vintage buttons!

with a little yellow thrown in, they'd match my color scheme perfectly!

but then I was sad, because I do love fresh flowers quite a lot and I think I would miss having them at my wedding. princess lasertron has a solution for that too:

bouquets with button-flowers mixed in! sweeeeet!

if you haven't seen her site yet (really? after all that & you still didn't go? really?), go now now now before the cupcakes take over your brain again: www.princesslasertron.com. In addition to her beautiful products, you can find info about her GREAT wedding (featured on offbeatbride, polkadotbride and many many many other places)

#2. ohmmm

So. Rock & I are getting married. Next year sometime . . . (more on that to come)

Rock's brother is also getting married. Later this year. Later this year, in fact, on a date that I had a special fondness for (10.10. how often does that date come up, people? oh, once a year? right . . .)

Rock's brother is getting married about 6 months before us. And today I started thinking:
is that too many weddings? (umm, 2? 2 is too many? really?)
are they too close together? (it's over 6 months. that's a looong time. I'll change my hair 3 times between the two.)
what if everyone just goes to their wedding and not mine? (have I mentioned my lingering childhood insecurities?)

and then, the kicker

what if their wedding is EXACTLY like ours? will I have enough time to change things?

Now, you do not know Rock's future sister-in-law (side note: what does that make her to me? sister-in-law-in-law?) but, let's just say we don't have a lot in common. while I've only met her a few times, she is the ultimate definition of Southern girly girl, but without the blond hair. Let's call her Sparkles.

Sparkles is the Manolo to my Payless. she is the appletini to my bud light. the French manicure to my bitten down nubs. the Barbie to my Punky Brewster. for real. damn good thing Rock is so different than his brother

there is no possible way we will have the same wedding. unless I get hit over the head by the rhinestone fairy and lose all consciousness. I constantly do this "stress over the most impossible situation" thing and then wear myself out in the process. even if we have similar ideas, so what? then, we have similar ideas. is my marriage less worthy or valid if we both use those big Chinese paper lanterns? or if we both have chicken for dinner?

really, isn't the whole "wedding" concept pretty similar anyway? – girl, guy (or another girl. whatev), flowers, dinner, dancing, commitment of live & love . . . ? Ariel at Offbeat Bride put it best: your wedding is NOT a contest! I could use that as my new mantra during yoga . . . my wedding is not a contest . . . my wedding is not a contest . . .

oh, Rock's mom just sent me an email . . . she sent Sparkles my ideas website . . . and Sparkles really loves my centerpiece ideas . . . not a contest . . . not a contest . . . *deep breath* . . .