I’ve been reading the wedding blogs again . . . and the magazines. and the books, websites, catalogues – anything with the word “wedding” will draw me in! even though I know better . . . it's makes me crazy. they’re all the same, even if they think they’re not. oh, I know your wedding is not a contest and that we should liberate ourselves from expectations and that the “evil” wedding industry sometimes makes no sense and that your wedding should be just that, yours, and a way to honor people/ideas/things that are important to you. and all of these brides are so great at doing that . . .
but what if I want a “wedding” (air quotes and all)? what if I want a white dress and a pretty cake (or cupcakes, whatever) and a dance with my daddy and a veil and flowers and candles and rice? maybe I don’t want it all (the bouquet/garter toss? not a big priority. the bridal portrait or engagement pictures? I don’t know what we’d do with them.) but there are things I do want. there are things momma and my dad and Rock’s granny hope to have and see and do. and the happiness of my family is unbelievably important.
I don’t want to spend a lot of money. I fell in love with a gorgeous, reasonably priced location. for an extra price, they offer rental all day & the night before (& a pool!). adding that option makes it out of my reach. but momma wants to spend the extra money for us to have more time to relax. at that price, my total budget will go way up, but she wants it. she wants to buy it for me. and I will not refuse a kind gift from my mother just for the sake of my ego or (worse) so I can show the internets that I too am practical and offbeat and able to stick to a budget.
If it’s not martha or the knot demanding I investigate teeth whitening for my big day, it’s someone else telling me that wanting to wear Vera Wang makes me ridiculous.
I guess either way I’m out the group . . .
UPDATE: I just read Maggie's post for today and feel so much better. Please go see her here.
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Once again, you are awesome. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I have been so bothered by - the assertion that you're either being suckered in by The Knot or inventing everything out of thin air and pulling off something in your backyard. I might love that type of wedding if A) I had a backyard, and B) I didn't want any traditions involved.
To me, knowing that the wedding industry sucks and you're smarter than it, and thus being able to pick and choose from the traditions and details that speak to you based on whatever is inspiring and meaningful TO YOU, well that's empowering, in my book.
Calling people's individual choices ridiculous is just as mean-spirited as saying that they're not good enough. So go forward and get married exactly how it's right FOR YOU, dammit! :-)