#35. you can read me anything

did you watch the scrubs finale the other night? (I know, I'm a little behind. look, that's what tivo is for, right?) anyway, did you watch it? I cried. for real. sobbed. (surprise, right? or not . . .) I love scrubs. I like zach braff even though I don't always understand him (garden state? I guess I just didn't get it)

my favorite part of the episode was at the very end, when he's leaving the hospital & sees his future played on the scrim in front of him. It was beautiful and funny and Elliot has a gorgeous dress on in their future wedding.





I also really like the song they played for that final montage. it's been in my head for days! I was pretty sure I recognized it from somewhere, but I could not put it together. so last night I finally looked it up. it was the peter gabriel version of Book of Love. (honestly, I was a little embarrassed that it was peter gabriel. and that it's cheesy. but I like it) I really like the music. I have now listened to the original (magnetic fields), the peter gabriel and a few other covers but I like the scrubs one best . . . I'm thinking about it for wedding music . . . in the ceremony somewhere? first dance? (we don't have a song. I'm sure I'll talk more about that later)

and I'm actually still not sure where I first heard it song (not from shall we dance. it was before that . . .) but I guess it doesn't matter too much.

#34. I prefer the term "empathetic"

I've been getting weepy a lot lately. we're still over a year out from W-Day but it's starting to be a very real thing. and EVERY TIME there is something wedding-y on tv, I am sniffling. really. we moved the kleenex from the bathroom into the living room because Rock got tired of me wiping my face on his t shirt. I mean, I was tearing up at Whose Wedding is it Anyway last night . . . who does that? (side note: it was the "chicken fried wedding" one. it was in dallas. I turn to Rock and say "I've been there!" I though it was funny. him, not so much)

I've been mentally projecting myself a year into the future and thinking about what we might be doing a year from today (or yesterday or tomorrow) . . . with a wedding 2 weeks away, I'll probably freaking the heck out, but it's fun to imagine that I'll be all calm and cool about everything. I'm reading blogs from ladies who are there, on the brink, and I am so very impressed! (Maggie, talking to you here!) I'm pretty sure I'll be a hot mess. (see how I'm pickin up on the texas slang? I'm hip with the kids, yo) I think I'm weepy now? man . . . I can only imagine . . .

I have always been kind of, um, emotional (my fam would say "dramatic") . . . and I hope to heck I can manage to not become a total weepy mess, but I really doubt it. maybe it'll be endearing, right?

#33. first of all, it's a big responsibility

it's been another busy day at work today . . . or not so much . . . so, in order to do something productive, I made this (at wordle.com):

it's from a poem by Taylor Mali (check out the hair!) called Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog. Mr Mali is a teacher, or was a teacher, and a poet. he has an impressive resume & has written some great poems about education & his experiences as a teacher (one of my favorites is Like Lilly Like Wilson).

Falling in Love . . . makes me think of Rock (and of his our sissy dog, Conan (yes, like The Barbarian)) and I'd love to use it as a reading in our ceremony. I know this poem was a "wedding fad" at one time, but I've never heard it read at a wedding, so I can still use it.

from Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog, by Taylor Mali

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

(read the full text of the poem at his website. here.)

#32. why I love hgtv (or lemons & limes, part II)

renting sucks. Rock & I live in a little house in ghetturbia. you know, right where the ghetto bleeds into the suburbs? not quite gritty enough to be urban, not yet chic enough to have a name? that's us. (side note: I didn't know neighborhoods needed names until I moved here. is that normal or just texas?) also, we have the dumbest woman I have ever met in real life for our landlady. all of this makes me want to own a house . . . more than I can possibly express, I want to actually own the place where I sleep. I have dreams of painting walls and retiling floors and installing kitchen cabinets . . . as a result, we watch a lot of hgtv. and I have been reading design & remodel blogs lately.

enter This Young House and their diy/design fabulousness. they have been remodeling their midcentury ranch house & post about it. they answer reader questions, they post lots of pictures . . . and they posted about their gorgeous, casual, at-home, backyard wedding!

they held the ceremony in the back yard.

and the reception on the driveway.

(reception night shot)

check out her awesome dress (love the back!)

which she dyed afterwards to be a fab cocktail number

and, AND they used lemons & limes in glass vases for the centerpieces! this is just like what I want!

I am nowhere near ambitious enough to hold a wedding in my very own backyard (even if we had a nice one that wasn't full of mud & the neighbors trash . . . ) but this wedding (and couple) is so cute! go check it out!

#31. condition yellow!

is north texas traffic really always "condition yellow" . . . really? and, if it is always yellow, why do we even have to announce that? couldn't they just announce if it one day happens to be not yellow? I listen to the radio frequently on my way to and from work. I have never heard any other condition. what are the other colors it could be, anyway?

weird.

(also, isn't Airwolf an 80s tv drama about fighting the communists? why is that a good thing to name your traffic report? I know I don't especially like to think about the commies before I've had my coffee . . . )

#30. I always loved Nancy Drew

I finalized arrangements today to make a trip to visit Momma. aside from taking off work, seeing my family and escaping this dismal weather, I’m also excited because this trip will be the first dress fitting! wait, what’s that you say? what’s the deal with having a fitting a year out from the wedding? and where the heck did this dress come from, anyway . . . I don’t remember her going shopping or anything . . . to you who are suddenly thinking I’m crazy, I say, you’re absolutely right. I probably am crazy.

you’re also right about the Mystery of the Suddenly Appearing Wedding Gown, Nancy Drew, I haven’t talked about going shopping. no, you didn’t miss it. well, actually, you did. it was almost 4 years ago. and yes, I probably am crazy, but not in the way you’re thinking.

see, this dress, that I have a picture of somewhere . . . I’ll rustle it up for you . . . (ooh, how texan of me: rustle up) this dress, I love. with every fiber, I love it – its smooth simplicity, the weight of the gown on my body, how glamorous I feel wearing it . . . I love this dress. I vaguely mentioned earlier that I have worked in a bridal store; that is where this dress was purchased. I however, did not mention earlier that I have been engaged before. true story. this is not my first venture into this whole wedding planning stuff. I’ve done a lot of this stuff before.

his name is boy wonder and he was my very best friend for a long time. there is too much to say about what happened, what went wrong, so I won’t say it. I will say that when the relationship started to sour, he proposed. and I stupidly accepted, thinking it could fix things. it didn’t. at the end, it became so clear that he was very much a boy, not ready to be grown, and I had already moved so far past him that there was no catching up. and at the very very end, I realized that I had known this all along.

the hardest part of the whole thing is that in every decision I make, there is the ghost of the “last time” lurking in the shadows. I want to have cupcakes, but that’s what I wanted “last time” too . . . and thinking of them makes me think of boy wonder and how we loved “frost your own cupcake day” in the cafeteria. I want to walk down the aisle to Hallelujah (probably Jeff Buckley rather than Rufus Wainright) but I know I fell in love with the harmonies when boy wonder played it on the piano. and this brings me to the dress and the insanely early fittings . . .

when Rock & I get married, I will be wearing the dress I purchased to wear to marry another man. Momma has let me know this is weird. but I love this dress. I fell in love with it on my third day of work. I love this dress. Rock has let me know that he understands. (and that he doesn’t think it’s weird) I love Rock. but I do want to make some changes to the dress to make it truly mine and truly a part of our wedding.

enter Momma’s best friend, an amazingly talented seamstress and fabric artist. (seriously. she MADE her daughter-in-law’s wedding gown. from scratch, by hand, no pattern, in raw italian silk. that she went to italy to buy. She also embroidered a few exquisite fall leaves on the train and on the veil. she’s uh-MAZ-ing.) My design plus her skills will (hopefully) equal one super awesome dress! Momma’s friend is a professor she has an open expanse of time during the summer for personal projects. And I’m her personal project this summer! After the fitting/brainstorm design session I will bring you actual pictures & details & everything. I hope I can bring myself to cut into it . . .

#29. my afternoon

guess what I made today?!



it's not 100% perfect but I really like it! and it only took me about half the work day. (in between other things of course) my boss would be so proud . . .

hey, some days I actually do work. today? not so much.