#53. a confession

um, hi.


I used to write things here . . . about my upcoming, though now-over wedding.

and then I stopped. without warning, excuse or explanation. and this isn't really an explanation (and certainly not a good one) but, I think it's time for a confession . . .

I started writing a blog (this blog!) because I wanted to have friends.

there. that's out there. I wanted people to read what I wrote & think "man, that girl is cool & I want to be her friend!" having just moved to a big crazy state and a big crazy city, I wanted to connect with people.

and then I felt like no amount of anonymous text on the internets could create friends. and then I got lazy about writing.

so, I don't know if I'll keep writing here and if I do, it will certainly change focus (having finished with the wedding-ing and all . . .) but I just wanted to tell someone what happened . . .

#50. I love mini food

I love cupcakes. they're like a mini cake. any food in miniature is somehow tastier but especially dessert-type food.

Rock & I are still in negotiations about the dessert section of our wedding. he's not a big sweets fan but does love brownies, pie and the occasional chocolate chip cookie. I, on the other hand, have an unquenchable sweet tooth and will eat nearly any dessert except for white (wedding) cake. we've tossed around some ideas . . . a non-traditional-weddingy cake, cupcakes, cheesecakes, pie, cookies, donuts (which Rock's brother & Sparkles just did, so that'll be a "no") . . . but we still haven't really come to any conclusions.

but I just found these!:

they're mini pies!! baked in little jars!

visit Not Martha for a great tutorial and lots of pictures. the best part? because they're in jars, they're freezable. I could make them ahead of time and then just freeze them until we need them!

wait, am I actually thinking about making my own wedding food? am I crazy? . . . . . .

#48. faux vintage

in the last post, I was wondering how to find cheap vintage blue ball mason jars. I did a little research and found that they sell in shops & on ebay for, like, $10. each! I was ready to abandon the idea. then, I found this: make vintage mason jars. A.Mountain.Bride found a tutorial at Bridal Buzz and re-posted the steps and images.

kristin at Bridal Buzz used turquoise glass paint to simply paint the jars the vintage color. so brilliantly obvious that I never would have thought of it! I will refrain from re-posting the whole thing here, but look at the finished product:
it looks exactly like Non-Texan Momma's jar! maybe prettier . . . (don't tell Momma)


I bought the glass paint and thinner online from dick blick. I'll let you know how it turns out!

#45. last time, on survivor

you know how at the beginning of the show, they tell you what you missed last week? well, here's what you missed: 3 people from my department quit (out of 12 total, all from my specific office), work drama, non-texan sister didn't take well to an experimental hospital procedure, I totally forgot I had a blog, I didn't get funding for grad school, our landlady disappeared (no really, like, gone. still gone, actually), then I DID get funding, I remembered I had a blog but didn't have anything to say, sister got better, I quit, more work drama, I moved and started school, Rock moved somewhere else (sad), and I got better about blogging again. (that last part might be still to come, but I totally believe it!)

did you follow all that? no prob, not important. what is important it that I AM BACK! and I have Save The Dates!

I'm not sure how I got there, but I was wedding surfing and came upon Merriment Design. totally cute, clever, crafty, FREE ideas for all kinds of things! anyway, I found this adorable FREE save the date template based off of a sketch of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. it's perfect for our wedding under the trees! (and did I mention it's FREE?!)

so, I downloaded it, added our info, added some color and drew in a little sunflower at the bottom! what do you think?

(sorry for the blurry, my photoshop's not working so it's via powerpoint. I'll get a better pic up asap.)
(click to enbiggen and to see with less blurry!)

go to Merriment Design and check out all the fun crafty ideas they have!

#44. ch-ch-ch-changes . . .

guess what? I moved! I quit my job, moved to a little apartment, started grad school and have had absolutely no time! and it's AWESOME! the only sad part? Rock hasn't been able to find a new job. so he's still in Dallas, working. (and living in an even smaller apartment than this one!)

I've got great stuff to show you (invites! centerpiece craft idea! the dress!) but no time! soon! I'll be back soon!

#41. I won!

let's start by saying I never win anything. door prizes, bingo games, bets, scratch-off lotto tickets . . . nothing. you know those carnival games where you pick up the floating duck & win a prize if the bottom is red or whatever? yeah, no. my duck is not a winner.

but, I DID win a little "contest" the Repeat Bride was having the other day for some engagement books. (she was mostly giving them away, but hush. I will claim my small victories where I can) I "won" a copy of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life (by Allison Moir-Smith).

I'm kind of excited.

also, check out her blog. it's great. she's very honest about the ups & downs of preparing not just for a wedding but for a life together. actually, she's really very honest about everything. pretty great.

(ps: does it make me a nerd to be really excited about winning a book? probably. do I care? nope.)

#40. the birdcage

once wed just posted "how-tos" for this great birdcage veil! I love it! now, where around here would I find a store to sell me these supplies? joanns just won't cut it for this project . . .

#39. t-minus one year. and counting!

over the weekend, Rock & I celebrated our negativersary . . . is that a word? can I make it one? . . . anyway, this past friday marked one year from our impending wedding. so, to celebrate, we went on a "date" like the kiddies do.

we got dressed up and went to the mall.

yeah, it was awesome.

oh, but not just any mall, the Dallas Galleria Shopping Centre Extravaganza. it was still pretty awesome, actually. we told the girl at Lush that it was our -1 year anniversary and she gave me a mini soft hand treatment. (she probably does for all the girls, but I like to think it's because I'm special.) then we went to Antonio in Addison for Italian food, which was awesome.
we, being excellent planners, didn't take any pictures or anything so I will have to substitute with a photo from easter this year.

so, here's what I wore (minus the "model face" look. and minus the 1980's decor at Rock's grandmother's house):

(my legs look furry in this shot. it's the camera, I promise)

aaand, front shot (minus "modesty tank top" required for grandmother/church visit.):

(the girl at Betsey Johnson loved my dress. yeah, that's right)

the craziest part of all of it was thinking about how long and how short the coming year seems. we've been together for 3 years, lived in the same place for less than 2, and will be married in less than 1.

I can't wait

#38. lemons & limes, part III

will continuously using this title get old? probably. too bad.

so back forever a few weeks ago I promised you some pictures from the latest lemon/lime extravaganza when I was home to visit momma. after the tests we did with real fruit (and the resulting mess!), momma thought it would be a good idea to test, well, fake fruit. foam fruit to be exact. somewhere (t.j.maxx), somehow (clearance rack) she found large amounts of foam faux lemons and limes. momma already has more vases than a second-rate flower shop so we hauled out tons of hers and got to work.

here's what we put together:

here's what I learned:

• I really like the look of all the same fruit in the tall lined vases (see the right side of pic 2)
• the deep green vase with the bright yellow lemons is great (see pic 1, just right of middle)
• I don't like the fishbowl vases (pic 2, left)
• the low bowl with flowers & fruit is super pretty (pic 2, lower left) but real fruit won't float, right? will that be good or bad?
• we will in no way need to buy vases! seriously. there are, what, 10 vases on the table here? not even a dent in the displayed collection. not even a dent. I swear the woman has 15 tall lined ones & 8 or 10 of those low floater bowls
• wine is a necessity in these endeavors
• my step daddy is such a good sport

and, for those of you who have made it this far, here's a bonus shot of my memorial day weekend. we got a grill!

(yeah, that's me. in a box. I may or may not have tried to trap the dog in it later that evening. unsuccessfully.)

#35. you can read me anything

did you watch the scrubs finale the other night? (I know, I'm a little behind. look, that's what tivo is for, right?) anyway, did you watch it? I cried. for real. sobbed. (surprise, right? or not . . .) I love scrubs. I like zach braff even though I don't always understand him (garden state? I guess I just didn't get it)

my favorite part of the episode was at the very end, when he's leaving the hospital & sees his future played on the scrim in front of him. It was beautiful and funny and Elliot has a gorgeous dress on in their future wedding.





I also really like the song they played for that final montage. it's been in my head for days! I was pretty sure I recognized it from somewhere, but I could not put it together. so last night I finally looked it up. it was the peter gabriel version of Book of Love. (honestly, I was a little embarrassed that it was peter gabriel. and that it's cheesy. but I like it) I really like the music. I have now listened to the original (magnetic fields), the peter gabriel and a few other covers but I like the scrubs one best . . . I'm thinking about it for wedding music . . . in the ceremony somewhere? first dance? (we don't have a song. I'm sure I'll talk more about that later)

and I'm actually still not sure where I first heard it song (not from shall we dance. it was before that . . .) but I guess it doesn't matter too much.

#34. I prefer the term "empathetic"

I've been getting weepy a lot lately. we're still over a year out from W-Day but it's starting to be a very real thing. and EVERY TIME there is something wedding-y on tv, I am sniffling. really. we moved the kleenex from the bathroom into the living room because Rock got tired of me wiping my face on his t shirt. I mean, I was tearing up at Whose Wedding is it Anyway last night . . . who does that? (side note: it was the "chicken fried wedding" one. it was in dallas. I turn to Rock and say "I've been there!" I though it was funny. him, not so much)

I've been mentally projecting myself a year into the future and thinking about what we might be doing a year from today (or yesterday or tomorrow) . . . with a wedding 2 weeks away, I'll probably freaking the heck out, but it's fun to imagine that I'll be all calm and cool about everything. I'm reading blogs from ladies who are there, on the brink, and I am so very impressed! (Maggie, talking to you here!) I'm pretty sure I'll be a hot mess. (see how I'm pickin up on the texas slang? I'm hip with the kids, yo) I think I'm weepy now? man . . . I can only imagine . . .

I have always been kind of, um, emotional (my fam would say "dramatic") . . . and I hope to heck I can manage to not become a total weepy mess, but I really doubt it. maybe it'll be endearing, right?

#33. first of all, it's a big responsibility

it's been another busy day at work today . . . or not so much . . . so, in order to do something productive, I made this (at wordle.com):

it's from a poem by Taylor Mali (check out the hair!) called Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog. Mr Mali is a teacher, or was a teacher, and a poet. he has an impressive resume & has written some great poems about education & his experiences as a teacher (one of my favorites is Like Lilly Like Wilson).

Falling in Love . . . makes me think of Rock (and of his our sissy dog, Conan (yes, like The Barbarian)) and I'd love to use it as a reading in our ceremony. I know this poem was a "wedding fad" at one time, but I've never heard it read at a wedding, so I can still use it.

from Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog, by Taylor Mali

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

(read the full text of the poem at his website. here.)

#32. why I love hgtv (or lemons & limes, part II)

renting sucks. Rock & I live in a little house in ghetturbia. you know, right where the ghetto bleeds into the suburbs? not quite gritty enough to be urban, not yet chic enough to have a name? that's us. (side note: I didn't know neighborhoods needed names until I moved here. is that normal or just texas?) also, we have the dumbest woman I have ever met in real life for our landlady. all of this makes me want to own a house . . . more than I can possibly express, I want to actually own the place where I sleep. I have dreams of painting walls and retiling floors and installing kitchen cabinets . . . as a result, we watch a lot of hgtv. and I have been reading design & remodel blogs lately.

enter This Young House and their diy/design fabulousness. they have been remodeling their midcentury ranch house & post about it. they answer reader questions, they post lots of pictures . . . and they posted about their gorgeous, casual, at-home, backyard wedding!

they held the ceremony in the back yard.

and the reception on the driveway.

(reception night shot)

check out her awesome dress (love the back!)

which she dyed afterwards to be a fab cocktail number

and, AND they used lemons & limes in glass vases for the centerpieces! this is just like what I want!

I am nowhere near ambitious enough to hold a wedding in my very own backyard (even if we had a nice one that wasn't full of mud & the neighbors trash . . . ) but this wedding (and couple) is so cute! go check it out!

#31. condition yellow!

is north texas traffic really always "condition yellow" . . . really? and, if it is always yellow, why do we even have to announce that? couldn't they just announce if it one day happens to be not yellow? I listen to the radio frequently on my way to and from work. I have never heard any other condition. what are the other colors it could be, anyway?

weird.

(also, isn't Airwolf an 80s tv drama about fighting the communists? why is that a good thing to name your traffic report? I know I don't especially like to think about the commies before I've had my coffee . . . )

#30. I always loved Nancy Drew

I finalized arrangements today to make a trip to visit Momma. aside from taking off work, seeing my family and escaping this dismal weather, I’m also excited because this trip will be the first dress fitting! wait, what’s that you say? what’s the deal with having a fitting a year out from the wedding? and where the heck did this dress come from, anyway . . . I don’t remember her going shopping or anything . . . to you who are suddenly thinking I’m crazy, I say, you’re absolutely right. I probably am crazy.

you’re also right about the Mystery of the Suddenly Appearing Wedding Gown, Nancy Drew, I haven’t talked about going shopping. no, you didn’t miss it. well, actually, you did. it was almost 4 years ago. and yes, I probably am crazy, but not in the way you’re thinking.

see, this dress, that I have a picture of somewhere . . . I’ll rustle it up for you . . . (ooh, how texan of me: rustle up) this dress, I love. with every fiber, I love it – its smooth simplicity, the weight of the gown on my body, how glamorous I feel wearing it . . . I love this dress. I vaguely mentioned earlier that I have worked in a bridal store; that is where this dress was purchased. I however, did not mention earlier that I have been engaged before. true story. this is not my first venture into this whole wedding planning stuff. I’ve done a lot of this stuff before.

his name is boy wonder and he was my very best friend for a long time. there is too much to say about what happened, what went wrong, so I won’t say it. I will say that when the relationship started to sour, he proposed. and I stupidly accepted, thinking it could fix things. it didn’t. at the end, it became so clear that he was very much a boy, not ready to be grown, and I had already moved so far past him that there was no catching up. and at the very very end, I realized that I had known this all along.

the hardest part of the whole thing is that in every decision I make, there is the ghost of the “last time” lurking in the shadows. I want to have cupcakes, but that’s what I wanted “last time” too . . . and thinking of them makes me think of boy wonder and how we loved “frost your own cupcake day” in the cafeteria. I want to walk down the aisle to Hallelujah (probably Jeff Buckley rather than Rufus Wainright) but I know I fell in love with the harmonies when boy wonder played it on the piano. and this brings me to the dress and the insanely early fittings . . .

when Rock & I get married, I will be wearing the dress I purchased to wear to marry another man. Momma has let me know this is weird. but I love this dress. I fell in love with it on my third day of work. I love this dress. Rock has let me know that he understands. (and that he doesn’t think it’s weird) I love Rock. but I do want to make some changes to the dress to make it truly mine and truly a part of our wedding.

enter Momma’s best friend, an amazingly talented seamstress and fabric artist. (seriously. she MADE her daughter-in-law’s wedding gown. from scratch, by hand, no pattern, in raw italian silk. that she went to italy to buy. She also embroidered a few exquisite fall leaves on the train and on the veil. she’s uh-MAZ-ing.) My design plus her skills will (hopefully) equal one super awesome dress! Momma’s friend is a professor she has an open expanse of time during the summer for personal projects. And I’m her personal project this summer! After the fitting/brainstorm design session I will bring you actual pictures & details & everything. I hope I can bring myself to cut into it . . .

#29. my afternoon

guess what I made today?!



it's not 100% perfect but I really like it! and it only took me about half the work day. (in between other things of course) my boss would be so proud . . .

hey, some days I actually do work. today? not so much.

#28. you know it was a good party when

you open your purse the next day (at work) to figure out why the heck it's so heavy and you find this:

yeah, that's my office chair.

(I brought the beer for a friend's dinner party & rather than bring a whole box home with only 3 bottles rolling around in the bottom, I thought I'd be really smart and just throw them into my purse. turns out there were 4 bottles left . . . yeah, really smart)

#27. "pretty nice little saturday . . . "

(note: this was supposed to post yesterday. not sure what happened there . . .)

ok, ok, it was actually sunday. and we went to Lowe's not Home Depot. but still, it works people, it works . . . . (plus, we did have enough time to go to Bed Bath & Beyond)

anyway, I needed to repot some plants and Rock wanted to look at lumber (again) for his (interminable) entertainment center project. (no really, he's been talking about this for almost a year. we've made 4 of these "wood scouting trips" and I don't even know how many he's made on his own. -- I swear he spends his lunch breaks at Home Depot. he has the store memorized)

anyway, Lowe's. garden center. browsing through the azaleas and the gerbera daisies and all the other gorgeous blooms I didn't even know you could grow at home! (stupid short mountain growing seasons) and there they are:

boots! and not just boots, BOOT PLANTERS! you're supposed to put your pansies in there and put it in your yard! in your yard! and to think of the time I wasted making fun of the little "southwest" pots with a cactus on them . . . I was going to try to put my foot in it, but Rock stopped me. I think he was embarrassed . . .

we didn't buy any boot planters. but I did get a cute little tomato plant and Rock picked out a pepper plant. we bought pots and soil and pavers for the backyard (but no wood. again.) and I even got everything repotted before the crazy rain storm!

I also realized that I have no clue how to grow tomatoes or peppers. and I'm historically pretty bad at keeping things alive . . . this could be fun . . . anyone know how to not kill food plants?

#26. refreshing taste of lemon & lime

remember when mom came to visit? and we tested out some different centerpiece ideas? I finally have pictures!

we're looking at green and yellow (and maybe sapphire blue) for colors and thought what's green and yellow? fruit! specifically, lemons and limes. so, momma and I bought a bunch of lemons and limes and spent half a day cramming them into vases in various order.

like so . . .

not bad but not exactly what I was looking for . . .

we also cut slices to put into a vase with a narrower opening:

a little gross, you say? yeah, but look at it a few hours later . . .

mmmmm . . . or not. I think this one is a NO

after a while, we came up with what I think is a winner:

(mmmm . . . background liquor cabinet . . . which I totally needed after 4+ hours of fruit arranging )

it would look better if the glass didn't have that strange wheat pattern, but, it's a pretty clear idea of what we're going for. maybe this on half, floral on half? maybe some of both? not completely sure yet, but I feel like some sort of progress has been made. and that's enough for me. (for now . . .)

what do you think?

#25. rocky mountain romance

ooh! Snippet & Ink posted a wyoming inspiration board! she calls it "rocky mountain romance" and says:

A rustic, quaint log chapel, a bride in cowboy boots, horseshoes, s'mores, and a
mechanical bull - all perfect elements for a wedding in Wyoming.

it is pretty. I'm pretty sure that if momma was running my wedding, it would look like this . . .